Monster Mash

You know this monsters your little is like... ok your little BECOMES, when they start having a HUGE tantrum over absolutely NOTHING at all and EVERYTHING all at the same time? I am talking the kicking, screaming until they are horse, has you blinking back tears nothing you do works kinda monster tantrum?

My favorite tantrum was this morning...when my six year old was screaming so loud I am shocked the police did not show up, because he could not find his underwear. The underwear that we laid out the night before with the rest of his close, in order to try and avoid these tantrums in the morning. So after a wile I finally walked into the living room where he insisted on getting dressed to see if I could hunt down his underwear.

Though I was beyond pissed at this point because he has thrown and kicked numerous things, I was even more pissed to have to say "ummm hun your underwear is sitting under your left hand."

I was quite happy. Here I was thinking awesome that was quick his underwear was in his hand problem solved right? HA WROOONNGG!!!!!

What did my little love say to me? At the top of his lungs he screamed "YOU JUST HATE ME!!"

Wait what? I just saved the day, I found the missing, not so missing, underwear that was in your hand the entire time and I hate you?

Welp his fit went on for most of the morning over anything and everything. From the underwear to me just hating him to what I made him for lunch to wanting to wear his sandals when it was only 40 something outside this morning, and not to mention it was gym day and I nicely (or as nicely as I could manage at that point) reminded him that if the school called and said that I had to bring sneakers for hi for gym class or he was going to have to sit out, that I would simply say sorry he has to sit out today I'm not bringing sneakers. It went on and on and on and on and on.

But then.....oh yes then. He really did it. This little one had the audacity to turn to me while walking down the front porch steps to the bus and SMILE!!

That's right SMILE and say love you mom see you after school! Like...that was it...like nothing had happened at all. Like that awful screaming didn't just make me want to poke my ear drums out all morning.

and because I do I said I love you too have a great day, and I waved, but God knows in my head I'm thinking...

yup ok love you too...I'm gonna be laying under your bus as it drives away...don't worry about the thud...just tell the driver to keep on going!

yup.....we all have those moments...I'm just dumb enough to put them in print ;)

Sorry...Not sorry

From the time my oldest little was tree I was ALWAYS saying sorry wherever we went. Either he had a fit or a total melt down and I was saying sorry. Or he was doing something "weird" that made others uncomfortable...so I was saying sorry. I was ALWAYS saying sorry.

Then as time went on and he got his diagnosis I would apologize for that. For example "sorry its the Asperger's."

I got sick of saying sorry after a while and used to take my poor child by the hand and would make him apologize for his own behavior. Seriously I think I was brain dead for a little while there, I mean legit, I was having my child say that he was sorry for behavior he didn't know he was doing half the time, and the other half the time was totally out of his control.

Then FINALLY it hit me.

I nor he have NOTHING to be sorry for. If someone has an issue with the fact that my son is having a fit that has more to say about them than it does he or I. If they want to be judgmental and think that my son having a fit means that I must not reprimand him at home, or that I spoil him and give him everything that he wants that's on them. That just shows that they are small minded ignorant human beings, because God forbid they take a second to think that maybe he is unable to control his behavior in the store because he is over stimulated by everything going on around him. Maybe there are to many people and he is just crawling out of his skin. Maybe we (stupidly) forgot to bring his headphones and music and the mixture of noises going on around him are just to much for his senses to handle.

So...For a little while I was able to jus ignore the stares. They made me uncomfortable but I was able to push through and get out of there before shedding some silent tears on the drive home.  But then, it hit me again, seriously...tears? Why am I crying? I have nothing to be embarrassed or upset about and neither does my son! If anyone should be embarrassed it should be whomever it was that was standing there staring at us!

Now...my friends, and family will tell you I pretty much to the opposite. I probably shouldn't, and its probably not the best example. But if for some reason I glance up (and its not often because usually I am focused on my child and his needs at that moment) and someone is staring at my son while he is having a "moment" while out in public I'll usually give a look and say WHAT?!? So that, if even for a moment, they feel a pang of what it feels like to have someone looking at them, staring at them, for their behavior.

So ya know what....sorry....not sorry.

Don't forget your umbrella

I grew up in a house where my mother took no shit. I'm sorry for the "bad" word but there is just no other word I could use, that's just how it was.

I take even less so when it comes to my boys.

For example, my youngest son works a lot with early intervention. The other day my middle little was home "sick" and was yelling and screaming and not getting his own way, so he was running away. I simply looked at him right in front of the therapist here from early intervention and said

"ok Blake that's fine. Its chilly so wear a sweat shirt, oh and you might want to bring an umbrella its supposed to rain"

I am shocked that childrens services did not show up at my door that night because she gave me a look of sheer terror. She could not believe that I would be ok with the fact that my son was "running away." Maybe she thought I was seriously ok with it. Maybe it didn't occur to her that he says this numerous times a day and usually takes one step outside of our gate turns around with tears in his eyes, says he is sorry and comes running back for a hug. Or, maybe she is the kind of mom who coddles her kids.

Don't get me wrong. If she wants to coddle her kids, to run to them every time they fall down, to gasp every time her toddler weebles or wobbles that's totally her prerogative. In my house if there is no blood your probably ok. Even if there is your not going to find me running over gasping and gushing all over them because, with my kids at least, that just scares them and makes them more nervous and gets them even more upset than they already are.

However, I don't like getting the dirty looks for how I choose to parent.

Now I wont lie. When my oldest little was tiny I was probably making sure that every tiny drop of snot was swept away by a tissue laden with lotion instead of today where id probably say use your sleeve (I have three boys give me a break)

However the point here ladies (and gentleman) is that it really doesn't matter. Coddle your kids go for it. Don't take their shit that's cool to. Go for that in between that's awesome. But keep those stupid judgy stares to yourself because those are sooooooooo not needed!