UM OUCH

I am so sorry to the few of you who read this!
I have been MIA because I was really sick, and then three weeks ago I had to get my gallbladder removed.

Now....If you read my blog you know that there is nothing about me that is normal...not even close. However when they went in to do this "simply laparoscopic hardly any pain" surgery they realized that I am more abnormal than anyone could have thought.

It turns out my gallbladder some how alone the line of being formed decided to climb up into my liver and stay there. So at 28 years old it was finally discovered and instead of that easy surgery, they had to cut me wide open, then cut my liver to get the gallbladder out. Not fun...and um...OUCH!

Well I was stuck in that stupid hospital bed for five days when I think begged the doctor to let me go home. Now don't get me wrong, they had the good pain meds and anything I needed they brought to me, because well I could barely even sit up since they cut my stomach muscles. But it is really hard to be the micromanaging, stay at home super mom, that I try (yes TRY) to be, when I'm not in my home with my kids!

Now first of all I have to give props to my awesome husband because he took almost two weeks off from work to take care of the boys the first week, and then myself and the boys the second. He did a great job. Ok he did his best, thankfully my mom was around to give him a hand, nothing against him, he is just not used to being home with the three boys and has no idea how their schedules go, what their day time quirks are etc. But I'm sorry in my mind no one is gonna do it the way I am going to do it, and the thought of that drove me crazy.

Knowing that my two special needs boys were probably not doing so well because I wasn't there and their schedules were probably out of whack was killing me. I just needed to get home. So I made a deal with the doc. I said doc. I promise you I will continue to do nothing, I will just be way more comfortable doing nothing at home than I will be here in the hospital. Thankfully he was ok with that and discharged me that night, night number 5.

Welp ladies let me tell you, trying to micromanage from the couch is kinda annoying. I mean I can talk until I am blue in the face doesn't mean anyone is going to listen. Then I opened my pantry to notice that EVERYTHING was moved around...same with my cabinets. Ummm NOOOOOOO!!!! Not ok. I am far from OCD I am not a super neat person, and I am not a super organized person. However my cabinets and my pantry are two places where I know where everything is and have everything where I want it, because it makes breakfast before school and packing lunches super quick and easy.

But wait! Then I go into my bedroom and BAM my closet was a disaster and so were my drawers. AHHHHHHH. again don't get me wrong I was sooo happy that the laundry was done and the house hold chores kept moving even though I was laid up but I couldn't find anything. Yes I am currently stuck in yaga pants and hoodies unless I uncomfortably put on a pair of jeans for a small outing that I'm allowed to take, but still I want to be able to just open the drawer and pull them out. But nope my yoga pants and old t-shirts were hung up in the closet...so confusing. Thankfully I had a good day the other day and I say myself on the floor and rearranged everything I could to get my closet back on track...my pantry is still killin me though.

Its weird though....even though things weren't going the way that I would have wanted them...they were still going. I had this weird ache in my gut (and not from the surgery) the first few days that had me lingering on the verge of tears. I realized that, even though I am sure I make things easier on my family, they dont NEED me to keep things going. Sure they did things differently, but they still got them done without me. I didnt like that.....ummm OUCH!

But then it hit me. I was doing my job better than I thought! I was working hard and parenting my boys to be able to handle shifts in their routine even though it is tough. I was making sure that my husband spent time with my boys and loving on them and making sure he knows them and their needs. My job isnt to do everything for my kids....but to teach them to do things for themselves. To raise them to be God fearing, organized, happy amazing young men. This experience has shown me that I am doing a kick ass job at that!

So even though the major huge gross ugly cut across my stomach makes me say umm...ouch...the rest of it...its just another reason to smile and get back on my feet so I can keep working hard and teaching them how to work hard.