Give us some space and a broken vagina

So yesterday I am in in the ER waiting room FOREVER (apparently I have some gall stones yay for me) so any way I'm sitting there and there and I over hear the nurses saying that there is a new mama coming in.

She apparently had her baby five days prior and was bleeding really, really badly. Her doctor told her to go to the ER, he was already in the office and said the ER doctor should see her and then just call him and tell him what happened.

So sure enough I am sitting there and in comes this poor mama. She is in tears because she had to leave her baby at home. She asked the nurse how long they thought she was going to be there, and the nurses told her that she was going to be here at least a few hours.

Well let me tell you, this poor girl just broke down and started sobbing. She said that she is breast feeding and that she has to feed her baby. That she doesn't want to have her baby come to the hospital because she doesn't want her baby to get sick. I felt so bad for her, but the nurse...the nurse just rolls her eyes and asks her why she didn't pump before she left.

Again in tears this poor girls says that her doctor told her that she shouldn't pump for at least three weeks because she wont be making much milk until then and that way she will avoid any nipple confusion. The response of the nurse was to again roll her eyes and say that perhaps this poor thing should get herself a new doctor. ( I mean I tend to agree any doctor who just ships his patent off to the ER and wants nothing to do with them isn't the best of doctors but still)

Any way my this entire thing got me to thinking. HOW FREAKING ANNOYING IS IT WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY AND THESE SO CALLED PROFESSIONALS BOSS YOU AROUND?!?!

With my last son, now we are talking number three. I felt like such an idiot. Yes an idiot! In the hospital they make me feel like nothing I do is right and that if I am not doing it their way I must not be doing it right at all and I just can't stand it! I could not wait to get out of there so that I could just get comfortable and get to know my baby without someone hovering over me.

When they laid my third little on me the first thing I did was drop the top of my gown and bring him to my breast and sure as shootin he latched right on. I had two nurses the one was thrilled. The other however was soooo annoyed. She wanted to clean him all up. She was like umm does he really have to eat now. I totally ignored her. I was in pure bliss that me and my littlest of little men were bonding and that I had the opportunity to do so. (do to emergent situations I didn't have the chance with my first two)

Before I was able to take him home I had to show them that I knew how to change him and bath him and all that good stuff...I was like legit? I have two boys at home. They have been fed and changed and bathed and so on, I know how to do this. It's just so awful.

I feel like (and forgive me if it is not like this where you are) even though many doctors and hospitals preach on skin to skin and how important it is to spend time with your baby and get comfortable with your baby etc they just don't really mean it if it gets in their way, of its not the way that THEY would get comfortable, or if its the way THEY would breast feed or the way THEY would change the baby etc.

So lovely doctors nurses and hospitals here is my idea or words of advice to you. Help us pop those babies out. Make sure we don't bleed out all over the floor that our babies are not blue and leave us alone. Yup that's right you heard me...leave us alone!! Give us a chance (especially first time moms) to learn how to be a mom. We have been doing this since the beginning of time. When a baby is born so is a mom. If you are always pushing your way to do things down a mom's throat they are never going to feel comfortable. Sure I want you to pop in and see if I need help, or to answer my questions etc. But I want you to give us moms some SPACE. Let us figure out what works best for us and for our babies. That way when we go home, we are not starting at square one again! Just let us do our thing...we'll be alright, not to mention it will make your shift a hell of a lot easier.

Oh and as for that poor mama...I over heard the nurses giving report...and that woman deserves a gold metal, flowers, chocolate, wine, and some diamonds because she had a fractured cervix, yes that's right a fractured cervix...a broken vagina ladies...and here she was crying because she was worried about nipple confusion...shoot I would have been crying about having to sit down. I tip my hat and raise my glass to mystery mama in the ER.

Already on the crazy train? Whats one more passenger?

How do you know?

I mean, how do you really...without the shadow of a doubt, for sure, know that you don't want to have any more children?

When I met my husband we were crazy! We knew (and still know) this amazing couple who has nine children. They make it work, they legit have it all together and I think that is amazing. That is what we wanted. We were going for ten!

Then we had 1. We decided 10..nope, no way, nuh uh, not for us. We tried and tried and tried and finally got pregnant with number two (after a miscarriage) as they began getting older is when we started to realize that our two littles had some special needs and life started getting a little bit crazy.

We went from being cramped in a pretty decent three bedroom apartment, into a hotel for a month, into a really crappy two bedroom apartment where SURPRISE we found out we were unexpectedly pregnant with number 3. This was not in the cards, this was not in the plans. I mean where were we gonna put this baby?

That's it! We were done! I mean heck we were done after 2 and here comes number 3. But hmmm here comes baby number three and when he was six months old we moved into our gorgeous house. he was a little blessing number three and the most laid back little boy you could ever hope to meet. His smile lights up a room and he just rolls with it.

Now "baby" number three is going on three years old. Not such a baby any more. We sit and we look at him and we get a little sad about the fact that soon he will be at preschool age. That he wont be around all the time any more. That many of the "firsts" we have done for the last time. But then something gets spilled or thrown or we hear screaming or punches are thrown and we are snapped into reality and think nope, no, nu uh we are done...right? are we?

That got me to thinking. How do you moms and dads, husbands, wives, baby mamas baby daddys and the lot of ya know when your done? finished? Totally out of the game? I mean yeah wowza is life crazy around here with two boys with special needs. I am sure lots of your lives are crazy too. I also look at it like this though....If your already taking a ride of the crazy train what is one more passenger?

So out of morbid curiosity? How did you know? Did you ever know? I'm not sure this mom will ever 100% know for sure that I'm finished and that's ok.

As always have something to share fell free. Like what you read please share!

xoxo
Julz

WARNING...I'm going there and then some (Gender rolls and children)

So all over facebook and other sites for a while now have been stories about how the Jolie/Pit family call their little girl John and allow her to dress like a little boy...

My thought every time I see this story is always...WHO CARES? I DONT GET IT...WHATS THE BIG DEAL?

Maybe it isn't a big deal to me because I live with it every day in my home. Because I have a six year old boy who prays to God every single night to turn him into a girl. A little boy who loves to run around wearing my shirt as a dress with a fabulous belt in the middle, who does better maneuvering around in a pair of my heels than I do. Who loves to wear my jewelry and my lip gloss and looks oh so cute doing it. A little boy who is trying to grow his hair out again (it was long when he was younger however we had to cut it because he was pulling it out.)

To me all of this means nothing. It's just my six year old being who he is and not being afraid to express himself. To me if it does "mean something" one day I could care less because that is my son and I love him for who he is and I always will.

Perhaps because I am elbow deep in it every single day that is why when I read these stories I just don't get why it is a big deal. But what really burns my backside about it all is, why is it anyone else's business other than hers and her parents? If she wants to be called John and asks her parents and siblings to call her John, why is that on a magazine cover, I mean legit with everything going on in todays world is that really what gets peoples attention? "little girl wants to be called John" that is what sells magazines? REALLY??

So here is my thought on this entire situation...first of all...you go for it Brad and Angie..as long as your not pushing her or forcing her into it then let her be her. If she wants the short hair, the boyish clothes and is asking to be called John and your comfortable as her parents doing that, than go for it! I give you credit for allowing your child to express herself in a way that makes her more comfortable even if it makes society uncomfortable.
I fully believe that allowing your children to express themselves in a safe way is awesome. My kids my dress themselves as long as its appropriate and they follow school dress code and all their bits are covered, their hair cut and style is their choice as long as it is taken care of and clean, etc. it is a way as children they are able to really show who they are. In a world where children are always being told they are different, or wrong, or need to follow the crowd, or being influenced by other people, let them be who they are!!

Hi my name is....mommy?

Hi my name is…..mommy?

First of all I want to take a second to apologize to the handful of people that (I hope) read my blog. I apologize for being away for so long after getting started. Summer came on quick and things have been non stop every since! But I’m backkkk!!! Hope you enjoy! And remember if you like it…don’t be afraid to talk about it and share it. xoxo

 

Wanna know what I did all day Saturday?

I wallowed. Man did I wallow good! I threw in some pouting and I even shed some tears!!

I called my husband I yelled at him a little. I was not a happy camper. I was sick and tired of sitting home every single Saturday having to take care of our kids while he went and did whatever he wanted! (In reality he was working, as he does most Saturdays to keep our family living the comfortable life style we love here in our house that we moved into two years ago) I went on to complain that mon-fri I get the kids up get them ready and bring them to where they need to go. I’ve got any number of our three boys with me at some point during the day every day. That I can’t even pee without someone walking in or banging on the door.  I complained that every single time I pick something out they throw three more things on the floor. I totally lost my $***! I then went on about how he is so lucky because on Sunday he gets to sit around the house while I get the boys up and ready and we go to church. (again in reality he is taking care of all the yard work etc that he can’t get done mon-sat because he is typically working)

Then I sat down and read another amazing mommy blog where she said that she almost forgot what it was like to not be “mommy” and it hit me! I can wallow here and there! I am allowed to have bad days! Because I am working hard myself. Every single day all day long. I am a mom! You may disagree but I am pretty certain that being a mom is the HARDEST job out there! Not only that…but moms…WE DON’T GET SICK DAYS! WE DON’T GET PERSONAL DAYS! We are always going!

After my day of wallowing I got on with my job as being a mom (as if I ever actually stopped…I was still being mom and running around like a chicken with my head cut off I was just wallowing while I was) I felt better. I realized that there are gonna be days where I miss being who I was before kids, but that I wouldn’t change for the world who I have become now that I have them. I also realized that its ok to feel that way!

It also made me like super excited for the mini vacation the hubby and I are going on in August for our anniversary. It will be the second time we have gone away without or children since our honey moon! I am so crazy excited at the idea of waking up without my six year old creepily standing at the end of my bed staring at me, oh being able to eat without someone sneezing on my plate or farting at the table. Without having to yell or listen to the constant arguing that goes on between brothers.

I also know that as soon as we pull out of the drive way I’m going to call Grammy and check on them and make sure that they are ok before we get started, because if they are not we of course don’t have to go.  I know about an hour or two later I’m gonna send her a text to see if they are still doing ok. To ask if I forget to pack them anything and ask if maybe we should turn around if she doesn’t think she and my dad, as well as my adult sister can handle taking care of my three boys. I know as soon as we get there I am going to call them to tell them that mommy and daddy arrived at their destination and to tell them we love them and that as soon as I hang up the phone from talking with them I am going to be blinking back tears because the thought of being without my little men for four days is just as hard as having to deal with the craziness of living with them.

I know it sounds like I’m kinda psycho bouncing back and forth between pulling my hair out from having to be with them every second of everyday and crying because I miss them after only a day if that when we go away. I’m not psycho though (my husband would probably disagree with that statement) I’m a mom! It’s my prerogative as a mom to feel all the emotions that go along with motherhood. With having boys, with having 3 boys, with having boys with special needs. If your not a mother I’m kinda sure you don’t get what I’m sayin here. If you are a mother I’m sure you do (at least I hope you do…if you don’t…maybe I am psycho.)

So what I’m trying to say to ya ladies/mommies…its ok! You can have your bad days, your wallowing days, your great days, your awful days, your fun days, your sad days etc. Own them, live them out and keep on moving mama your gonna be just fun. But don’t forget to let “you” the “you” you are when you take mommy away poke out once in a while! Remember its ok to be who you are, and its also ok if who you are...is mommy.

 

xoxo

Reality Addict

Hi my name is Julie...and I am a reality TV addict!

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step right?

I don't watch all the reality TV shows but I am a HUGE fan of the housewives franchise. After my husband made fun of me for it I sat down and tried to figure out why it is that I am so addicted and in love with these shows and this is what I came up with....

I am a mother of three, not just three kids but three boys! Any mother of boys knows why that is a huge reason.

Two of my boys have special needs, that means as any mother of a special needs child knows that I am ALWAYS fighting with schools, making meetings, appointments, writing letters and spending endless hours locking myself in the bathroom so I can attempt to hear what the person on the other side of the phone is saying.

I am a woman, that means I have emotions that my husband, being a man (sorry men its true we are just not wired the same) does not always understand.

I watch these shows because I LOVE seeing that there are people out there who actually have more drama in their lives than I do! I mean it! It makes me take a breath and say thank you Lord I am not the only one who deals with drama. I am not the only one who has to put out fires, I am not the only one who has people whispering  behind my back and smiling to my face. (however they are not whispering about my latest cheating scandal like on the shows but more about how I must be a bad parent because my child had an outburst in a public place not taking into account that he has aspburgers and was way over stimulated at the time.)

I get a serious thrill out of watching these shows and it honestly makes me feel better if only for the hour that its on. Or well...the hour that its recorded on my DVR because lets face it I don't have time to watch it when its on or actually sit and watch an entire show in one sitting.

So if I actually get time to sit with a glass of wine or can of soda (I don't drink coffee and even though soda is sooo bad for you this mama needs to get her caffeine fix one way or another)and watch a reality TV show why not do it?

So mamas down in the comments I'd love to hear your reality TV favorites, and if you like what your reading feel free to share the link!

What we think...But never say!

So we as moms, and I'm sorry but if you disagree you are lying to yourself, think things but we never say them out loud.

I think the biggest secret we try and keep is....ok ladies take a deep breath...get ready....

BEING A MOM IS FREAKING HARD!!!!!!

I will keep it in no more! Let me tell you why I decided to shout this from the roof tops. This past week has been rough. These past few days have been crazy tough and rumble rough. I mean whoa its been hard. Between some things with the hubster, with the boys, with them starting school again etc I am so tired I almost brushed my teeth with diaper rash cream.

So I decided I was going to sit down and take some me time. I was going to watch and entire movie (while eating my lunch) from start to finish. I picked that movie "Mom's night out" thinking it would just be an awesome funny movies about moms.

Well I started out laughing but ended up with tears rolling down my cheeks. Good tears, cathartic, therapeutic tears. Here is the quote that got the tears started...

"He loves you. No matter who you are, no matter what you do, or how far you run, Jesus will always love you with his arms open wide just for being you."

The character (who is played by the always handsome Trace Adkins) went on to say...

"I doubt the good lord make a mistake giving our kids to you. So you just be you, and let Him to the rest"

Those are amazing words. Seriously mama's read them again! How many of us feel like failures because the house is a mess, or the kids are throwing a fit, or because we are tired, or we just need a moment to ourselves but we are looking at the mom down the street who from the outside looking in has it all together so we must be doing something wrong. (I know I do)

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! I AM NOT A FAILURE!

BEING A MOM IS JUST FREAKING HARD!!!

Yanno that awesome quote "the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world?" I mean come on ladies if that's not giving us mom props I don't know what is! I think we just need to take a deep breath sometimes and realize that, yeah, we love being moms its the best job in the world and all that jazz but its hard. It's ok that we find it hard. It's ok we have some bad days. It's ok if your still in your yoga pants at 3 in the afternoon, its ok if you need to lock yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes and eat a candy bar and read tasteless gossip magazines to gain back your sanity, because we're moms, and its hard.

No more holding it in moms! We as moms are always so busy trying to look like we've got it all together just like the mom down the street, but guess what she is probably crying by the washing machine herself just praying for a mom to come  along and commiserate with. So instead of having a mask in place smile at the mom standing next to you at drop off and say, "man this is tough sometimes" I bet she gives you a knowing smile, and I bet it will make her day. I know it would make mine.

so one more time....

BEING A MOM IS FREAKING HARD!!