Hi my name is....mommy?

Hi my name is…..mommy?

First of all I want to take a second to apologize to the handful of people that (I hope) read my blog. I apologize for being away for so long after getting started. Summer came on quick and things have been non stop every since! But I’m backkkk!!! Hope you enjoy! And remember if you like it…don’t be afraid to talk about it and share it. xoxo

 

Wanna know what I did all day Saturday?

I wallowed. Man did I wallow good! I threw in some pouting and I even shed some tears!!

I called my husband I yelled at him a little. I was not a happy camper. I was sick and tired of sitting home every single Saturday having to take care of our kids while he went and did whatever he wanted! (In reality he was working, as he does most Saturdays to keep our family living the comfortable life style we love here in our house that we moved into two years ago) I went on to complain that mon-fri I get the kids up get them ready and bring them to where they need to go. I’ve got any number of our three boys with me at some point during the day every day. That I can’t even pee without someone walking in or banging on the door.  I complained that every single time I pick something out they throw three more things on the floor. I totally lost my $***! I then went on about how he is so lucky because on Sunday he gets to sit around the house while I get the boys up and ready and we go to church. (again in reality he is taking care of all the yard work etc that he can’t get done mon-sat because he is typically working)

Then I sat down and read another amazing mommy blog where she said that she almost forgot what it was like to not be “mommy” and it hit me! I can wallow here and there! I am allowed to have bad days! Because I am working hard myself. Every single day all day long. I am a mom! You may disagree but I am pretty certain that being a mom is the HARDEST job out there! Not only that…but moms…WE DON’T GET SICK DAYS! WE DON’T GET PERSONAL DAYS! We are always going!

After my day of wallowing I got on with my job as being a mom (as if I ever actually stopped…I was still being mom and running around like a chicken with my head cut off I was just wallowing while I was) I felt better. I realized that there are gonna be days where I miss being who I was before kids, but that I wouldn’t change for the world who I have become now that I have them. I also realized that its ok to feel that way!

It also made me like super excited for the mini vacation the hubby and I are going on in August for our anniversary. It will be the second time we have gone away without or children since our honey moon! I am so crazy excited at the idea of waking up without my six year old creepily standing at the end of my bed staring at me, oh being able to eat without someone sneezing on my plate or farting at the table. Without having to yell or listen to the constant arguing that goes on between brothers.

I also know that as soon as we pull out of the drive way I’m going to call Grammy and check on them and make sure that they are ok before we get started, because if they are not we of course don’t have to go.  I know about an hour or two later I’m gonna send her a text to see if they are still doing ok. To ask if I forget to pack them anything and ask if maybe we should turn around if she doesn’t think she and my dad, as well as my adult sister can handle taking care of my three boys. I know as soon as we get there I am going to call them to tell them that mommy and daddy arrived at their destination and to tell them we love them and that as soon as I hang up the phone from talking with them I am going to be blinking back tears because the thought of being without my little men for four days is just as hard as having to deal with the craziness of living with them.

I know it sounds like I’m kinda psycho bouncing back and forth between pulling my hair out from having to be with them every second of everyday and crying because I miss them after only a day if that when we go away. I’m not psycho though (my husband would probably disagree with that statement) I’m a mom! It’s my prerogative as a mom to feel all the emotions that go along with motherhood. With having boys, with having 3 boys, with having boys with special needs. If your not a mother I’m kinda sure you don’t get what I’m sayin here. If you are a mother I’m sure you do (at least I hope you do…if you don’t…maybe I am psycho.)

So what I’m trying to say to ya ladies/mommies…its ok! You can have your bad days, your wallowing days, your great days, your awful days, your fun days, your sad days etc. Own them, live them out and keep on moving mama your gonna be just fun. But don’t forget to let “you” the “you” you are when you take mommy away poke out once in a while! Remember its ok to be who you are, and its also ok if who you are...is mommy.

 

xoxo